Kind of ironic to give my post today a title on season since my last blog post is all based on AUTUMN! As to that adorable sweater in the first pic of my last post, I wish I could tell you where to buy it, or where I found it. Sadly, it was on Pinterest. I wish there was a phone app where you could take a picture of an outfit like that, and find out where to buy said outfit. Like the app Shazamm, which Dusty has on his phone. Yesterday we went to the State Fair in MN and sat at the booth of our favorite radio station, The Current. We were listening to a sweet song but didn't know the name, so Dusty just held his phone up to the speakers and his phone told us what it was! There should be a clothing app like that. Like if I saw a girl walking at the mall wearing amazing shoes, I could take a pic with my phone and have it figure out... "Macy's, Sperry Topsiders, $59.99. Click here to buy." That would be brilliant!!
Sorry for going off on that tangent. Oops :)
Well, going back to the title of my blog post. I'm feeling that feeling again today. I don't really know why. It's the feeling when you wake up and see the dark cloud looming over your head. It's not having a full time job. It's feeling guilty/lazy/useless for just having another day to get out of bed, and count down the hours until I have friends to hang out with, or people to see. It's not fun. I don't like this feeling. And I don't like that cloud, either.
It's been a recurring theme pretty much since graduation-- Total uncertainty, feeling lost. I don't know what to do or where to start in moving forward. I've applied to several jobs, heard back from a couple, interviewed... And then I don't get hired. It pretty much sucks. It's also to be expected. What do I do now?
I guess I have trouble in understanding that this is a season of my life. I just went through a 4 year season of college. Before that a 4 year season of high school. That means that I am only 22. I literally have a lifetime ahead of me. A lifetime that I know will include employment (plus benefits, haha), a family, more hardships, more happy times than I can even imagine. I have a future ahead of me. A bright one, I like to think. I have days like this all the time... days where I feel like there's no hope and the world is crashing down on me... and then I also have days when I feel like life could not be better, life is great, and I have no worries or cares in the world. Like yesterday, at the Fair. Dusty and I had a great time together. We spent nine hours walking around looking at EVERYTHING! It was great!! And then I woke up today, and felt like this. Proof that I am a normal human being :)
One of my friends recently wrote on his own blog that writing and posting on here has been one of the most rewarding things he has done this summer. I kind of agree when it comes to this blog. Writing here (regardless of whether or not people are reading) is extremely rewarding, reflective, and personal to me. I am more than happy to share my life with other people who I know care for me and will hold me up in prayer during these hard times. So I am thankful, above all else. Thankful for hard times, for seasons of life, and thankful for you readers who take the time to listen/read, and share with me in the journey.
And on that note, I hope everyone has a great day :)
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