Greetings, friends.
I want to take the time here, at 10:56 pm on a school night (timing is one of my spiritual gifts. so is sarcasm), to say that the week back from Spring Break was rough. Really rough. Like... I couldn't have prepared worse for school rough. Hence... the blogging hiatus.
However, I feel now that I am finally swimming with my head above water, once again, and I am now heading full speed into the LAST MONTH OF STUDENT TEACHING.
And..... college.
So here is what happens in the next three months of my life.
I graduate.
I apply for jobs.
I most likely accept that I will hear back from no one (fingers crossed).
I look for a job in the meantime. Not like a career job, a job to earn some cash.
I move home.
I live once again with my parents (eek) and my brother (eeeeeeeeeek).
Eeek is neither a good thing or a bad thing.
I (fingers crossed, again) will be going to Phoenix for Easter.
Char lives there.
Char is Dusty's mom.
Which means, I get to have a mini vacation.
With Dusty.
Who is back from Nepal.
And living 1 mile away from me.
We hang out pretty much whenever we want now.
Okay, that's not true. I do have school from 7 - 3.
But we see each other a lot.
And I love him.
And I'm tired.
And that is what I call a darn good blog post for being 11 pm with eight (fingers crossed) hours of sleep ahead of me and two more days until the weekend after being awake today for a grand total of seventeen hours SO FAR today------ GOODNIGHT!
*PS* I gave a test today in class. I have 102 students. I have all the tests graded. All 102 of them. They are even posted in the gradebook online. Within a matter of ten hours. I'm not usually one to brag, but I am pretty dang proud of myself for that one. So that may give you an indication of what my day has been like so far. I am beat. Worn out. Adios.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
The hard stuff
I've spent the last five days down in Casa Grande, Arizona visiting my grandma (snowbird) and spending time with my aunt and uncle who are visiting as well. We were driving along today in Phoenix when I got a text from my mom, who informed me that my friend Carrie's mom, who attends our church, passed away this morning after blood clots were discovered in her lung.
The thing that breaks my heart (aside from such a terrible loss) is that I didn't even know that she was as ill as she was. Carrie has been in my life for about a year and I would consider her to be a good friend, and yet I had no idea that her mother was so sick. I just learned that she had been suffering from MS and that the blood clots were a result of the complications from that illness.
Anytime you try to tackle the issue of death and dying, I find it to be very difficult to navigate. This isn't new, as I'm sure many of you reading know just from personal experience. Just being down here in Arizona has been difficult because the last time I visited, my grandpa, John, was still alive. My grandpa was my buddy. He was such a strong, tall, and handsome guy who was just the most fun, teddy bear of a grandfather. He was always good for a laugh and slip of a $5 if you shook his hand at the right time. I come down here and have gone through floods of pictures of my grandpa, all taken within the last ten or fifteen years of his life, and while they bring up only the happiest of memories, it just makes me so sad that he is gone. He left this earth at 74 years old after a long, hard battle with cancer. And I miss him. Being down here reopens that pain that I dealt with when he first passed away. His death was my first experience in dealing with loss in my life, and it was not easy.
Now I am sad for a friend who is dealing with what I'm sure is indescribable loss. And it brings up so many questions. Especially from a Christian perspective. I love the Lord with my whole heart and I know that God loves me beyond what one can fathom. And it just is so difficult to understand; how can God, who loves us beyond understanding, give us such pain in the way of loss and death? And why does he allow suffering and illness? How can God allow illness and suffering? Why are we supposed to accept that "the lord gives, and takes away"?
I have written before about Dusty's dad. Dusty was only 15 years old when his dad went for a jog, had a heart attack, and died. Just like that. There was no illness, no period of time where you anticipate the worst. He was just gone. And that is so hard for me to understand. Why does that happen?
It's funny, because it was the words of Dusty's dad, Wade, that describe the hard stuff that accompanies death in the best way to me. Callie (Dusty's sister) gave me a bookmark that was made in his memory that contained a eulogy he had written about his own friend on the back. I wish I had it with me down here because it is so accurate in the feelings that come along with such a hard thing as death, but unfortunately, it is back home so I will have to blog about it later. But in the absence of his words, I can only turn to the words of Jesus in a time where a death just doesn't make sense...
John 16:33 "I have told you these things, so that IN ME you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
What can I learn about death through this passage?
1. We should expect death as earthly humans, it's an inevitable. I grew up always saying to my parents, "Dad, do I HAVE to?" And my dad would always say to me, "Case, the only thing you HAVE to do in life? Is die." It's blunt but it's true. Death is a part of life.
2. We can only find true peace, or healing, or rescue, in Jesus Christ.
3. Life is not an easily traveled road. The world that we live in will often bring trouble. Thousands are dead in Japan after the horrific tsunami that just HAPPENED. There is no explanation for such a thing, it's horrible. And yet, what can we do?
4. Although this life is never promised to be easy, we serve a God, a loving, and faithful God (this I remember from Wade's bookmark) who loves us and in loving us, has managed to overcome the world of evil, suffering, and hardship and will one day bring us home to glory, peace, and victory.
I can't say that I still understand. But I do know that there is hope. Life is so hard. It's not fair. It doesn't always make sense to me. And yet we are promised that if we follow Jesus, not only is he conqueror of the universe, but he will always be there to hold us when we just feel defeat and sadness.
Matthew 11:28-30 "Come to me all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." The words of Jesus.
If you find time, please say a prayer for my friend Carrie, her sister, and her dad. I don't want to pretend like I even know what they are going through, because I don't. But there is power in prayer. Thank you.
The thing that breaks my heart (aside from such a terrible loss) is that I didn't even know that she was as ill as she was. Carrie has been in my life for about a year and I would consider her to be a good friend, and yet I had no idea that her mother was so sick. I just learned that she had been suffering from MS and that the blood clots were a result of the complications from that illness.
Anytime you try to tackle the issue of death and dying, I find it to be very difficult to navigate. This isn't new, as I'm sure many of you reading know just from personal experience. Just being down here in Arizona has been difficult because the last time I visited, my grandpa, John, was still alive. My grandpa was my buddy. He was such a strong, tall, and handsome guy who was just the most fun, teddy bear of a grandfather. He was always good for a laugh and slip of a $5 if you shook his hand at the right time. I come down here and have gone through floods of pictures of my grandpa, all taken within the last ten or fifteen years of his life, and while they bring up only the happiest of memories, it just makes me so sad that he is gone. He left this earth at 74 years old after a long, hard battle with cancer. And I miss him. Being down here reopens that pain that I dealt with when he first passed away. His death was my first experience in dealing with loss in my life, and it was not easy.
Now I am sad for a friend who is dealing with what I'm sure is indescribable loss. And it brings up so many questions. Especially from a Christian perspective. I love the Lord with my whole heart and I know that God loves me beyond what one can fathom. And it just is so difficult to understand; how can God, who loves us beyond understanding, give us such pain in the way of loss and death? And why does he allow suffering and illness? How can God allow illness and suffering? Why are we supposed to accept that "the lord gives, and takes away"?
I have written before about Dusty's dad. Dusty was only 15 years old when his dad went for a jog, had a heart attack, and died. Just like that. There was no illness, no period of time where you anticipate the worst. He was just gone. And that is so hard for me to understand. Why does that happen?
It's funny, because it was the words of Dusty's dad, Wade, that describe the hard stuff that accompanies death in the best way to me. Callie (Dusty's sister) gave me a bookmark that was made in his memory that contained a eulogy he had written about his own friend on the back. I wish I had it with me down here because it is so accurate in the feelings that come along with such a hard thing as death, but unfortunately, it is back home so I will have to blog about it later. But in the absence of his words, I can only turn to the words of Jesus in a time where a death just doesn't make sense...
John 16:33 "I have told you these things, so that IN ME you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
What can I learn about death through this passage?
1. We should expect death as earthly humans, it's an inevitable. I grew up always saying to my parents, "Dad, do I HAVE to?" And my dad would always say to me, "Case, the only thing you HAVE to do in life? Is die." It's blunt but it's true. Death is a part of life.
2. We can only find true peace, or healing, or rescue, in Jesus Christ.
3. Life is not an easily traveled road. The world that we live in will often bring trouble. Thousands are dead in Japan after the horrific tsunami that just HAPPENED. There is no explanation for such a thing, it's horrible. And yet, what can we do?
4. Although this life is never promised to be easy, we serve a God, a loving, and faithful God (this I remember from Wade's bookmark) who loves us and in loving us, has managed to overcome the world of evil, suffering, and hardship and will one day bring us home to glory, peace, and victory.
I can't say that I still understand. But I do know that there is hope. Life is so hard. It's not fair. It doesn't always make sense to me. And yet we are promised that if we follow Jesus, not only is he conqueror of the universe, but he will always be there to hold us when we just feel defeat and sadness.
Matthew 11:28-30 "Come to me all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." The words of Jesus.
If you find time, please say a prayer for my friend Carrie, her sister, and her dad. I don't want to pretend like I even know what they are going through, because I don't. But there is power in prayer. Thank you.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Ohhhh.... we're halfway there......
Monday's are my jam-packed days of student teaching. Last Monday was no different, we actually had an hour long session with Bethel's Career Service office on applying for jobs after graduation (bleak and depressing, to say the least). Because I am rarely on campus, I decided to take advantage of being at school and had dinner with a couple of my friends that I don't see too often. We had one of those long dinners I used to have frequently wasting time and chatting casually in the dining center. By this time, I was under the impression that Dusty was in Kentucky, continuing the drive home from Florida to make it by Tuesday afternoon. Dust called me a couple of times during dinner, but I ignored the calls because I was busy catching up with my friends... remember?
Anyway, I wrapped up dinner eventually, and set up shop for doing some browsing on my computer in Market at Bethel. That led to a bunch of other friends finding me at school and chatting about nothing when Dusty sent me a couple of texts asking what I was up to. I just said "not much, hanging out at school" and didn't think much else of it.. Until he called me and sounded very verbally frustrated with the fact that I wasn't answering phone calls and talking to him on the road. This isn't like Dusty to get upset, so I packed up my stuff and headed towards the stairwell to give him a call and see why he was so frustrated.
Here is a little side note about Monday... I was a mess. Hair was greasy, makeup not so great, and I didn't really care because Monday's are always kind of crappy days anyway.
So I'm rounding the corner at Bethel and walk up the stairs to the parking lot where my car was... when DUSTY popped out from the stairwell!
I have never been so shocked and surprised... I couldn't even believe that he was there. And that's when it all made sense as to why he was so frustrated with me taking my sweet old time at school. He was trying to surprise me and I ruined it by being such a slow poke with nothing to do!!
Dusty was here a day early where we had a lot of time to catch up and hang out and see family and just spend some quality time together... for three days, and then he packed up and left for Nepal on Thursday. And I really miss him a lot. Although he will be back in just two weeks, it seems so far from now and I can't talk to him at all as being halfway across the world creates some challenges to communicating for cheap. So that's where I'm at with Dusty. He is gone for his trip and I'm lonely, but so grateful for the extra time we got to have together. And let's not forget.... He is HOME! He moved back!!
In other news... I am nearly halfway done with student teaching, which seems pretty unbelievable. It's really crazy how fast this time has gone, and how awesome the last couple of weeks have been in getting to know the kids in my three classes. We started World War II on Monday and they have been so awesome with this unit. Tomorrow is "Holocaust Day" and I'm still trying to figure out how I'm gonna hook them with a good lesson, but I'm confident this will be a good week for learning. I leave on Saturday for Arizona and Spring Break which will be a MUCH needed break, not just from teaching but from this DANG WEATHER!... It's March 6th and it's snowing outside. Keep in mind we have had snow on the ground since mid-November, making this one of the longest winter's we have had in MN in years. Yeesh.
SO that's that. I haven't heard much from the Nepal team since they have been in the actual country, but I think that everything is going well so far. No news is good news I suppose!
Wondering how life is going for everyone else? A lot of the blogs that I read consistently have been boring like my blog has been for the last few days... Not having a boyfriend to text and hang with plus inactivity on my favorite blogs makes for a very bored Casey Miller.
I am tired. Goodnight.
Anyway, I wrapped up dinner eventually, and set up shop for doing some browsing on my computer in Market at Bethel. That led to a bunch of other friends finding me at school and chatting about nothing when Dusty sent me a couple of texts asking what I was up to. I just said "not much, hanging out at school" and didn't think much else of it.. Until he called me and sounded very verbally frustrated with the fact that I wasn't answering phone calls and talking to him on the road. This isn't like Dusty to get upset, so I packed up my stuff and headed towards the stairwell to give him a call and see why he was so frustrated.
Here is a little side note about Monday... I was a mess. Hair was greasy, makeup not so great, and I didn't really care because Monday's are always kind of crappy days anyway.
So I'm rounding the corner at Bethel and walk up the stairs to the parking lot where my car was... when DUSTY popped out from the stairwell!
I have never been so shocked and surprised... I couldn't even believe that he was there. And that's when it all made sense as to why he was so frustrated with me taking my sweet old time at school. He was trying to surprise me and I ruined it by being such a slow poke with nothing to do!!
Dusty was here a day early where we had a lot of time to catch up and hang out and see family and just spend some quality time together... for three days, and then he packed up and left for Nepal on Thursday. And I really miss him a lot. Although he will be back in just two weeks, it seems so far from now and I can't talk to him at all as being halfway across the world creates some challenges to communicating for cheap. So that's where I'm at with Dusty. He is gone for his trip and I'm lonely, but so grateful for the extra time we got to have together. And let's not forget.... He is HOME! He moved back!!
In other news... I am nearly halfway done with student teaching, which seems pretty unbelievable. It's really crazy how fast this time has gone, and how awesome the last couple of weeks have been in getting to know the kids in my three classes. We started World War II on Monday and they have been so awesome with this unit. Tomorrow is "Holocaust Day" and I'm still trying to figure out how I'm gonna hook them with a good lesson, but I'm confident this will be a good week for learning. I leave on Saturday for Arizona and Spring Break which will be a MUCH needed break, not just from teaching but from this DANG WEATHER!... It's March 6th and it's snowing outside. Keep in mind we have had snow on the ground since mid-November, making this one of the longest winter's we have had in MN in years. Yeesh.
SO that's that. I haven't heard much from the Nepal team since they have been in the actual country, but I think that everything is going well so far. No news is good news I suppose!
Wondering how life is going for everyone else? A lot of the blogs that I read consistently have been boring like my blog has been for the last few days... Not having a boyfriend to text and hang with plus inactivity on my favorite blogs makes for a very bored Casey Miller.
I am tired. Goodnight.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Prayers Needed!!
If you could take the time out of the busyness of life for just a minute... Dusty, our good friend Danny, and our other good friend, James, are off to the nation of Nepal today for a two week missions trip serving with a team called Peak Performance. They will be traveling around the country helping with a lot of different tasks and projects- but the main goal of the trip is to film what God is doing and working on in Nepal today. Danny and Dusty are very much into film, and James is a historical guru. I should know, I have gone through three years of history classes with him at Bethel. The man knows his stuff... especially his geography!
They are flying to Nepal today but in all it will be about 30+ hours of travel, which you can imagine will be quite exhausting. Please keep these three plus the rest of the team in your prayers. They officially arrive on the 5th and will be there until the 19th of August.
I am really blessed to have someone in my life who is willingly open to answering God's call by serving on a trip like this. We talked today and while he's nervous and kind of anxious, I know that this is going to be an INCREDIBLE experience not just for Dusty and the team, but for the people they encounter in Nepal as well.
If I can, I will give more details about the trip, I have his support letter around here somewhere, just forgot where I put it! Ahh! Your prayers are greatly appreciated. Have a wonderful Thursday!
{PS... I still have to blog about the surprise homecoming Dusty had on Monday. When my week is over and I have a minute to breathe, you can stay tuned for details!!}
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