Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
How about a little change of pace?
I decided to shy away from the regular flow of my blog posts to write about a little something different. I was doing some browsing today when I stumbled upon www.emmawatson.com
I have to make one confession, but not on my behalf. Dusty has a minor crush (okay, a pretty big crush) on Emma Watson of Harry Potter fame. To those of you who are HP fans, you know her better as Hermione Granger. I found her website listed above and did some looking around.
I just have to say how encouraging it is to me that this gifted young actress (she is 20 years old) still finds it essential to attend college, despite the fact that her net worth is around $35 million dollars. In a generation where young celebrities often fall short of losing themselves to pressures of drugs, alcohol, and other troubles, I think it's actually really cool that EW is committed to an education (At Brown of all places!) and other things. Read around on her website to learn more. I really like the layout of the page. She seems like kind of a class act.
While I hate to admit that my own boyfriend has a crush on another woman, I guess I can accept that it's Emma Watson. Nonetheless, I felt the need to make him choose through the following photograph...
I took this picture in London outside of a Burberry store where apparently, EW is a huge hit. Who would you choose if you were Dusty? Before you go answering, watch yourself because I was really tired that day and hadn't showered in awhile so I look pretty nast. But some say grunge is beauty.
In the spirit of Emma Watson and my new found respect for her, here are a list of other celebrities that I feel raise the bar on admiration:
~Justin Bieber (I have to admire this guy for staying away from the bad stuff even after two years of crazy stardom, and I recently heard that his new movie, Never Say Never, is actually really good. And he is a Christian!)
~Natalie Portman (Phenomenal actress in Black Swan... Harvard Grad)
~Hayden Panetierre (She stole our hearts as Sheryl in Remember the Titans, and won me over as a dolphin activist who protested against the killings in Taijii... If you have never seen the documentary The Cove, you HAVE to check it out)
~Chad Ochocinco (You are probably like... Um, what?? But yes, Chad raises the bar. I recently found out that the money he is fined for various antics on/off the football field are all donated to charity. I find that pretty admirable)
~Brad and Angelina (I don't really feel the need to explain myself on this one. They are global ambassadors and they have adopted three children internationally. I admire that)
A few months ago, I may have put Miley Cyrus on that list, but nowadays, I feel like she is headed down a rough path to rockiness.
And if you feel I am a bad judge of character when it comes to admirable celebrities, that's fine. This is my blog so I write what I want!
I have to make one confession, but not on my behalf. Dusty has a minor crush (okay, a pretty big crush) on Emma Watson of Harry Potter fame. To those of you who are HP fans, you know her better as Hermione Granger. I found her website listed above and did some looking around.
I just have to say how encouraging it is to me that this gifted young actress (she is 20 years old) still finds it essential to attend college, despite the fact that her net worth is around $35 million dollars. In a generation where young celebrities often fall short of losing themselves to pressures of drugs, alcohol, and other troubles, I think it's actually really cool that EW is committed to an education (At Brown of all places!) and other things. Read around on her website to learn more. I really like the layout of the page. She seems like kind of a class act.
While I hate to admit that my own boyfriend has a crush on another woman, I guess I can accept that it's Emma Watson. Nonetheless, I felt the need to make him choose through the following photograph...
I took this picture in London outside of a Burberry store where apparently, EW is a huge hit. Who would you choose if you were Dusty? Before you go answering, watch yourself because I was really tired that day and hadn't showered in awhile so I look pretty nast. But some say grunge is beauty.
In the spirit of Emma Watson and my new found respect for her, here are a list of other celebrities that I feel raise the bar on admiration:
~Justin Bieber (I have to admire this guy for staying away from the bad stuff even after two years of crazy stardom, and I recently heard that his new movie, Never Say Never, is actually really good. And he is a Christian!)
~Natalie Portman (Phenomenal actress in Black Swan... Harvard Grad)
~Hayden Panetierre (She stole our hearts as Sheryl in Remember the Titans, and won me over as a dolphin activist who protested against the killings in Taijii... If you have never seen the documentary The Cove, you HAVE to check it out)
~Chad Ochocinco (You are probably like... Um, what?? But yes, Chad raises the bar. I recently found out that the money he is fined for various antics on/off the football field are all donated to charity. I find that pretty admirable)
~Brad and Angelina (I don't really feel the need to explain myself on this one. They are global ambassadors and they have adopted three children internationally. I admire that)
A few months ago, I may have put Miley Cyrus on that list, but nowadays, I feel like she is headed down a rough path to rockiness.
And if you feel I am a bad judge of character when it comes to admirable celebrities, that's fine. This is my blog so I write what I want!
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Kids say the darndest things
I can't believe that already, another week of teaching has flown by. And with that, I have a three day weekend for PRESIDENT'S DAY! I'm not quite sure as to why we are given the day off to "celebrate" (if that's what you want to call it) but I will take it as a gift.
The last five days were interesting at school. They went really well once again, but as I mentioned last time, I was combating a pretty wicked virus that I am still recovering from here. It made for a long day Wednesday. I woke up in the middle of the night and was just drenched in sweat. I guess that means my fever broke, and since then, the aches and pains have left and now I am just dealing with a cough. Thursday and Friday were days I think I will learn to covet as a teacher someday: MOVIE DAYS. Do you want to know the best thing about studying the Great Depression? Cinderella Man. Starring Russell Crowe and Renee Zellweger. A perfect cinematic depiction of American life in the 1930's. And also a perfect way to entertain a bunch of tenth graders for a three day period when it's a busy time in the school year. It is conference time at Maht which means it's busy for teachers. Thursday I spent fourteen straight hours at the high school discussing grades and class with parents. If there is one thing I have learned from conducting conferences at a teacher... it's that every parent deep down just wants to hear that they've got a good kid. So despite a few low grades here and there, it was mostly a good experience to be able to give parents what they want.
So back to the movie I'm showing... I did a little introduction to the film on Thursday and asked if anyone had seen it. Immediately, the class asked ME if I've heard the song.
What song?
Apparently, the rapper known as Eminem recently created a new song titled "Cinderella Man" and it's all the rage with my tenth graders. I had no idea of this... I'm not really a huge Eminem fan. Plus, I have no time to really explore music these days anyway. So I shrugged my shoulders and showed that I was unfamiliar with the song. They freaked out! It was as if I was an outcast that knows nothing of popular songs with teenagers these days.
Anyway, I told the kids that I listen to country music and that didn't score many brownie points with them like I thought. Sigh.
So on Friday, I told them to take out their video notes for Cinderella Man, and one of my student's raised their hand and said... "Ms. Miller. Can you RAP the LYRICS to the SONG, Cinderella Man?" And the whole class burst out laughing.
Kids.
I've had a couple of days to mull over something I heard this weekend in connection with teaching in a classroom. On Sunday, I went to the BU football banquet, an annual tradition occurring after each season's end. Because BU did so amazingly well this year, the banquet was postponed til just yesterday. My friend Kyle was one of the handful of seniors that spoke at the banquet. Kyle is currently student teaching also and shared an interesting thought... Imagine your classroom full of students that are either obedient, or disobedient. I can relate to that completely. I have both in all three of my classes, and the ones that are often disobedient sure make me appreciate the kids that are nothing but angels of OBEDIENCE. Kyle said that we should picture ourselves as "God's pupils." Imagine God as the teacher and us as his either obedient or disobedient students. It really put things into perspective for me. I couldn't imagine how much joy it must bring the Lord to see his people obeying him in everything they do. In contrast, it also must really frustrate him and drive him crazy to watch those of his children disobey. Isn't that an interesting kind of thought?
I just felt the need to share that with everyone this week. Kind of funny to envision yourself as a student of the King... but that is one role we can take on as Christians, right?
Hope everyone is having a great last week of February! Dusty is home in one week... I can't wait!!
The last five days were interesting at school. They went really well once again, but as I mentioned last time, I was combating a pretty wicked virus that I am still recovering from here. It made for a long day Wednesday. I woke up in the middle of the night and was just drenched in sweat. I guess that means my fever broke, and since then, the aches and pains have left and now I am just dealing with a cough. Thursday and Friday were days I think I will learn to covet as a teacher someday: MOVIE DAYS. Do you want to know the best thing about studying the Great Depression? Cinderella Man. Starring Russell Crowe and Renee Zellweger. A perfect cinematic depiction of American life in the 1930's. And also a perfect way to entertain a bunch of tenth graders for a three day period when it's a busy time in the school year. It is conference time at Maht which means it's busy for teachers. Thursday I spent fourteen straight hours at the high school discussing grades and class with parents. If there is one thing I have learned from conducting conferences at a teacher... it's that every parent deep down just wants to hear that they've got a good kid. So despite a few low grades here and there, it was mostly a good experience to be able to give parents what they want.
So back to the movie I'm showing... I did a little introduction to the film on Thursday and asked if anyone had seen it. Immediately, the class asked ME if I've heard the song.
What song?
Apparently, the rapper known as Eminem recently created a new song titled "Cinderella Man" and it's all the rage with my tenth graders. I had no idea of this... I'm not really a huge Eminem fan. Plus, I have no time to really explore music these days anyway. So I shrugged my shoulders and showed that I was unfamiliar with the song. They freaked out! It was as if I was an outcast that knows nothing of popular songs with teenagers these days.
Anyway, I told the kids that I listen to country music and that didn't score many brownie points with them like I thought. Sigh.
So on Friday, I told them to take out their video notes for Cinderella Man, and one of my student's raised their hand and said... "Ms. Miller. Can you RAP the LYRICS to the SONG, Cinderella Man?" And the whole class burst out laughing.
Kids.
I've had a couple of days to mull over something I heard this weekend in connection with teaching in a classroom. On Sunday, I went to the BU football banquet, an annual tradition occurring after each season's end. Because BU did so amazingly well this year, the banquet was postponed til just yesterday. My friend Kyle was one of the handful of seniors that spoke at the banquet. Kyle is currently student teaching also and shared an interesting thought... Imagine your classroom full of students that are either obedient, or disobedient. I can relate to that completely. I have both in all three of my classes, and the ones that are often disobedient sure make me appreciate the kids that are nothing but angels of OBEDIENCE. Kyle said that we should picture ourselves as "God's pupils." Imagine God as the teacher and us as his either obedient or disobedient students. It really put things into perspective for me. I couldn't imagine how much joy it must bring the Lord to see his people obeying him in everything they do. In contrast, it also must really frustrate him and drive him crazy to watch those of his children disobey. Isn't that an interesting kind of thought?
I just felt the need to share that with everyone this week. Kind of funny to envision yourself as a student of the King... but that is one role we can take on as Christians, right?
Hope everyone is having a great last week of February! Dusty is home in one week... I can't wait!!
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Happy Valentine's Day Post (a day late, naturally)
I have been busy busy for the last week and a half.... preparing for this past week when I began teaching on Monday! If you have been checking in trying to figure out whether or not I survived, I'm sorry that you had to wait this long. Oh, and I'm alive, also. Honestly though, I couldn't ask for a better placement, or a better classroom, or a better group of students. Minus the three boys in my last hour of the day that meow... that is a whole different story that I don't want to waste my time discussing.
I took over with the Great Depression unit. And no better time than this past week when we were experiencing multiple days of negative degree temps! Wahoo! The kids have been great. It's kind of amazing how much you learn just within a week of experience, but really, I feel like I have learned SO much just based off of one week of trying to manage three classes of kids that are so unique and different in their own way. My first class of the day is second hour, and they are awesome. They are the most controlled group of kids I have all day, and they participate constantly which helps me out in tremendous ways. My second class is fourth hour which conveniently has a lunch break right smack dab in the middle of the period. On some days, this is a good thing, and on other days, it's the worst. But they are also great kids. My final class of the day is actually the last period, 6th hour, which is full of interesting kids. It's the boys that do me in...
Today we had a lesson on FDR and Herbert Hoover, comparing the two to decipher the similarities and differences that they share. or those who may not know, Hoover and FDR are both former presidents from the Great Depression era :) I know that there are in fact people out there that might not really appreciate history like I do... which is totally fine, so I clarify! Anyway, so I'm having the kids do research to compare and contrast the two. And one of my students gets up there to defend Herbert Hoover and says... "Why would we ever elect a president who is in a wheelchair?" And.. I froze. How the heck am I supposed to respond to something like that? I didn't know what to do so I looked at Janine, who immediately said, "That is inappropriate, and you're done. Sit down."
It's times like these I realize they call it student teaching for a reason!
But other than that, the occasional stupid remark or flub in class, things are going SO great. I love the school, I love the social studies department, I even kinda enjoy looking at Dusty's football picture in the trophy case on my way out to my car (kidding). Jana and I chaperoned the winter dance last weekend and had a blast with that, and believe it or not... I am over halfway done with my first unit! So far I haven't had too much trouble with planning, because I have a fair amount of time during the day where I am without wireless and just have nothing better to do than grade and figure stuff out!
So there is a student teaching update. A positive one. It's amazing how my attitude goes so haywire at the beginning of a new challenge, and very quickly settles right into whatever it is I have to do. I was an emotional wreck my first week. Now, it's just something I get to do everyday! Nevermind that it's something I wake up at the crack of dawn for.... but that's no big deal.
In other news. Dusty is coming home in ....... (DRUMROLL) THIRTEEN DAYS. Wait, I'm wrong, he doesn't just come home... he MOVES BACK! And I'm ecstatic. I haven't had much time at all lately to even express how excited I actually am, and when I really think about it, I'm thrilled BEYOND thrilled. And I also found out a couple of weeks ago that I will get to spend spring break in Arizona with my Grandma Bev and my aunt and uncle. So I am looking forward to having that much needed break and in WARM WEATHER at that!!
Not much else has been going on... Other than great stuff that's been going on in my relationship with God... which I swear I have been meaning to write about, but just haven't found the time. But to sum it up in a nutshell, I have been going to church every Sunday with my fam, and have been spending time in devotions with a book that I love called "Experiencing the heart of Jesus" by Max Lucado. Dusty suggested this devotional to me last year and I kind of forgot I had it (oops) until right before I started student teaching and it as been an AMAZING guide in helping me tackle new stuff, and also in getting to know Jesus on a much deeper level. There is so much more to it that I want to save for another time, but I just have to put that out there, I am learning so much apart from just how to be a teacher in this time, and I'm grateful for what I am learning.
The only downside to the last few days is that I got really sick over the weekend, mostly starting on Sunday, and it has worsened over the last few days, like really bad. I have a cough but no stuffy nose, and I feel achy all over and might be running a slight fever, but I don't have a thermometer so I really can't be too sure, ha! This is the downside to having a mom who is also a nurse: You are never TOO sick to get checked out. Seriously, I could be foaming at the mouth and my mom would probably tell me that I just need to ride it out. So... I don't know what I'm sick with, but my mom the nurse says its a virus. I want to respond by throwing on boxing gloves and kicking the crap out of the virus but we are at about round 3 right now and I'm losing bad. Okay, horrible analogy. I thought it was funny before I actually wrote it out.
Notice I'm not erasing it anyway.
So there is a quick, failing to do my life update justice post. One more thing that I can't complain about: THE WEATHER IN MN! It's been a nice, brisk upper 30 degree week so far and the snow is actually MELTING. I can't believe it. I love winter for a couple months, but February is definitely the time that I need to say SEE YA and never look back. Looks like nature is compliant with my beliefs for once!
It's amazing how things can seem so much more upbeat and exciting when you have something to look forward to. In just a few short days, Dust will be back. Exhale. I really can't believe it. This was a long and tough road but we are just about at the end of it, and I really can't believe it. As much as I would love to say it was awesome for our relationship (and it was), I'm ready to just toss that idea aside to just welcome him home, finally. I really love him, and I miss him to pieces.
I have to share this photo ^^^ It was taken this past summer at our friend Britt's wedding and she just recently posted the pics to Facebook... I love this picture. How cute is he? I adore him.
I took over with the Great Depression unit. And no better time than this past week when we were experiencing multiple days of negative degree temps! Wahoo! The kids have been great. It's kind of amazing how much you learn just within a week of experience, but really, I feel like I have learned SO much just based off of one week of trying to manage three classes of kids that are so unique and different in their own way. My first class of the day is second hour, and they are awesome. They are the most controlled group of kids I have all day, and they participate constantly which helps me out in tremendous ways. My second class is fourth hour which conveniently has a lunch break right smack dab in the middle of the period. On some days, this is a good thing, and on other days, it's the worst. But they are also great kids. My final class of the day is actually the last period, 6th hour, which is full of interesting kids. It's the boys that do me in...
Today we had a lesson on FDR and Herbert Hoover, comparing the two to decipher the similarities and differences that they share. or those who may not know, Hoover and FDR are both former presidents from the Great Depression era :) I know that there are in fact people out there that might not really appreciate history like I do... which is totally fine, so I clarify! Anyway, so I'm having the kids do research to compare and contrast the two. And one of my students gets up there to defend Herbert Hoover and says... "Why would we ever elect a president who is in a wheelchair?" And.. I froze. How the heck am I supposed to respond to something like that? I didn't know what to do so I looked at Janine, who immediately said, "That is inappropriate, and you're done. Sit down."
It's times like these I realize they call it student teaching for a reason!
But other than that, the occasional stupid remark or flub in class, things are going SO great. I love the school, I love the social studies department, I even kinda enjoy looking at Dusty's football picture in the trophy case on my way out to my car (kidding). Jana and I chaperoned the winter dance last weekend and had a blast with that, and believe it or not... I am over halfway done with my first unit! So far I haven't had too much trouble with planning, because I have a fair amount of time during the day where I am without wireless and just have nothing better to do than grade and figure stuff out!
So there is a student teaching update. A positive one. It's amazing how my attitude goes so haywire at the beginning of a new challenge, and very quickly settles right into whatever it is I have to do. I was an emotional wreck my first week. Now, it's just something I get to do everyday! Nevermind that it's something I wake up at the crack of dawn for.... but that's no big deal.
In other news. Dusty is coming home in ....... (DRUMROLL) THIRTEEN DAYS. Wait, I'm wrong, he doesn't just come home... he MOVES BACK! And I'm ecstatic. I haven't had much time at all lately to even express how excited I actually am, and when I really think about it, I'm thrilled BEYOND thrilled. And I also found out a couple of weeks ago that I will get to spend spring break in Arizona with my Grandma Bev and my aunt and uncle. So I am looking forward to having that much needed break and in WARM WEATHER at that!!
Not much else has been going on... Other than great stuff that's been going on in my relationship with God... which I swear I have been meaning to write about, but just haven't found the time. But to sum it up in a nutshell, I have been going to church every Sunday with my fam, and have been spending time in devotions with a book that I love called "Experiencing the heart of Jesus" by Max Lucado. Dusty suggested this devotional to me last year and I kind of forgot I had it (oops) until right before I started student teaching and it as been an AMAZING guide in helping me tackle new stuff, and also in getting to know Jesus on a much deeper level. There is so much more to it that I want to save for another time, but I just have to put that out there, I am learning so much apart from just how to be a teacher in this time, and I'm grateful for what I am learning.
The only downside to the last few days is that I got really sick over the weekend, mostly starting on Sunday, and it has worsened over the last few days, like really bad. I have a cough but no stuffy nose, and I feel achy all over and might be running a slight fever, but I don't have a thermometer so I really can't be too sure, ha! This is the downside to having a mom who is also a nurse: You are never TOO sick to get checked out. Seriously, I could be foaming at the mouth and my mom would probably tell me that I just need to ride it out. So... I don't know what I'm sick with, but my mom the nurse says its a virus. I want to respond by throwing on boxing gloves and kicking the crap out of the virus but we are at about round 3 right now and I'm losing bad. Okay, horrible analogy. I thought it was funny before I actually wrote it out.
Notice I'm not erasing it anyway.
So there is a quick, failing to do my life update justice post. One more thing that I can't complain about: THE WEATHER IN MN! It's been a nice, brisk upper 30 degree week so far and the snow is actually MELTING. I can't believe it. I love winter for a couple months, but February is definitely the time that I need to say SEE YA and never look back. Looks like nature is compliant with my beliefs for once!
It's amazing how things can seem so much more upbeat and exciting when you have something to look forward to. In just a few short days, Dust will be back. Exhale. I really can't believe it. This was a long and tough road but we are just about at the end of it, and I really can't believe it. As much as I would love to say it was awesome for our relationship (and it was), I'm ready to just toss that idea aside to just welcome him home, finally. I really love him, and I miss him to pieces.
I have to share this photo ^^^ It was taken this past summer at our friend Britt's wedding and she just recently posted the pics to Facebook... I love this picture. How cute is he? I adore him.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Highlights of the week
-Establishing some connections with other staff members at Mahtomedi. Slowly but surely, I am feeling more and more comfortable being at the school. Friday was my first pepfest on the "teacher" side... Which was interesting but enjoyable.
>And on that note, Jana and I chaperoned the Silverbelle dance last night with a group of other teachers from the high school. Silverbelle is the equivalent of a Snodaze winter formal.... And that was also an interesting experience. I was very surprised by how well behaved the kids were. It was the crowd surrounding the dance that we had trouble with... The St. Paul Winter Carnival Vulcan crew was staying within the area that the kids were mingling before the dance(no idea what the significance behind the Vulcans is, but I concede it is an excuse to take a week off of work to party for five days in February as a Minnesota resident). Long story short, a bunch of rowdy, drunk middle aged couples harassing and being inappropriate toward our well behaved students. It was sort of an interesting parallel.
-Planning my first unit and getting the fine-tuned details all straightened out. I start tomorrow! This week will be an interesting week to "get my feet wet" so to speak and get a feel for what my teaching style is. I've learned a lot about positive classroom management over the last few days just from observing other teachers so this will hopefully come in handy as I take over things on my own.
-Church, both this Sunday and last. And not only that, but the devotional I've been reading has been phenomenal for me, especially in these last few days of change. I'm going to blog about it soon.
-Officially reaching the "less than a month" mark with Dusty moving back home! Can you believe it? I can't hardly myself.
-Homemade chicken nachos made by my friend Christie for me, Katie and Betsy on Thursday night.
-Spending Friday evening with my whole family, including the dog, but minus my sister, in downtown St. Paul to look at the ice sculptures and have dinner at Cosettas. It was a great way to end my week and get some time with the fam.
It's amazing how the peace of God worked into calming my nerves over the unknowns of the past week. We will see how this week goes since I am now taking over classes, but I am more confident in myself than I was last Sunday, that's for sure. I have even been getting sleep at night!
More to update on later I'm sure....
>And on that note, Jana and I chaperoned the Silverbelle dance last night with a group of other teachers from the high school. Silverbelle is the equivalent of a Snodaze winter formal.... And that was also an interesting experience. I was very surprised by how well behaved the kids were. It was the crowd surrounding the dance that we had trouble with... The St. Paul Winter Carnival Vulcan crew was staying within the area that the kids were mingling before the dance(no idea what the significance behind the Vulcans is, but I concede it is an excuse to take a week off of work to party for five days in February as a Minnesota resident). Long story short, a bunch of rowdy, drunk middle aged couples harassing and being inappropriate toward our well behaved students. It was sort of an interesting parallel.
-Planning my first unit and getting the fine-tuned details all straightened out. I start tomorrow! This week will be an interesting week to "get my feet wet" so to speak and get a feel for what my teaching style is. I've learned a lot about positive classroom management over the last few days just from observing other teachers so this will hopefully come in handy as I take over things on my own.
-Church, both this Sunday and last. And not only that, but the devotional I've been reading has been phenomenal for me, especially in these last few days of change. I'm going to blog about it soon.
-Officially reaching the "less than a month" mark with Dusty moving back home! Can you believe it? I can't hardly myself.
-Homemade chicken nachos made by my friend Christie for me, Katie and Betsy on Thursday night.
-Spending Friday evening with my whole family, including the dog, but minus my sister, in downtown St. Paul to look at the ice sculptures and have dinner at Cosettas. It was a great way to end my week and get some time with the fam.
It's amazing how the peace of God worked into calming my nerves over the unknowns of the past week. We will see how this week goes since I am now taking over classes, but I am more confident in myself than I was last Sunday, that's for sure. I have even been getting sleep at night!
More to update on later I'm sure....
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Student Teaching
Well... it has begun. The busiest time of my life... so far. Now think of how I'll feel when (or if) I start my first teaching job.
I can't tell you what the past couple of days have been like. Nerve wracking? Uh, yea. Being thrust into a brand new environment when you are new and unknown is pretty dang intimidating. Eating lunch with a bunch of new people? Older adults who have taught for years and know exactly how I must be feeling but yet probably can't remember what it's like because it's been so long?
Hard.
My first couple of days have been good so far. Janine is great, and we are getting along very well. She is extremely helpful and keeps me on my toes, which is good because I know how easy it is for me to get lazy and to not take things seriously.
But I am still really stressed out. I go to bed at night with a knot in my stomach because I'm not comfortable in this new environment yet, and I wonder what all my friends are doing at Bethel, and I feel like I'm missing out on college life because suddenly, I can't sit in Royal Grounds for an hour just because I have the time, and I can't go to Chapel because I feel like it, and I can't just go get food in between class and eat it on the go.
Instead, I eat lunch with the Social Studies department. And I carry a lunch box with me to school.
I guess I didn't anticipate much feeling toward what it would be like student teaching because I wanted to not worry about it until it got here. But I genuinely have never felt so alone and nervous in my whole life. This is a trial run of what I hope to be doing as a career for my life... and I'm freaking out! I want so badly to be taken seriously, and yet the students all know that I am new to the school and therefore, a very easy target. And I am horrible at being a disciplinarian. So what do I expect? What can I do?
Today I had to pass out a letter home to parents explaining that I will be student teaching their children for the next three months. And I had to make an announcement to the students about making sure the letter gets to the kids. And I got super nervous! To make a ten second announcement about a measly parent letter. And who is responsible for teaching the next unit starting on Monday, February 7?
Me.
Gosh, what is it about me and getting nervous? I am my own worst critic. I'm so sure of myself right up until the very day I start and then I begin to doubt. I tell myself that I don't have what it takes. I get nervous. I cry. I feel alone and down. But I know that I can do this! I have enough knowledge under my belt to know what I have to say about the Great Depression.... The New Deal.... World War II.... and so on. But I still have to learn how to manage a classroom. And grade papers. And take attendance. And help students who miss class.
I'm underestimating myself.
I just want the knot in my stomach to go away, and the feeling of anxiety to slowly turn to reassurance and calm. No doubt, no self-pity, no fear. Just facing a new situation head on like I know I can. It's three months. That's so little time! Three months of teaching that will help me to determine if this is really what I want to do with the rest of my life.
So I'm just leaning on God, leaning on myself, and trusting that I can do this. Because I know that I can. Getting to that point where I believe it? That might just take awhile.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
I can't tell you what the past couple of days have been like. Nerve wracking? Uh, yea. Being thrust into a brand new environment when you are new and unknown is pretty dang intimidating. Eating lunch with a bunch of new people? Older adults who have taught for years and know exactly how I must be feeling but yet probably can't remember what it's like because it's been so long?
Hard.
My first couple of days have been good so far. Janine is great, and we are getting along very well. She is extremely helpful and keeps me on my toes, which is good because I know how easy it is for me to get lazy and to not take things seriously.
But I am still really stressed out. I go to bed at night with a knot in my stomach because I'm not comfortable in this new environment yet, and I wonder what all my friends are doing at Bethel, and I feel like I'm missing out on college life because suddenly, I can't sit in Royal Grounds for an hour just because I have the time, and I can't go to Chapel because I feel like it, and I can't just go get food in between class and eat it on the go.
Instead, I eat lunch with the Social Studies department. And I carry a lunch box with me to school.
I guess I didn't anticipate much feeling toward what it would be like student teaching because I wanted to not worry about it until it got here. But I genuinely have never felt so alone and nervous in my whole life. This is a trial run of what I hope to be doing as a career for my life... and I'm freaking out! I want so badly to be taken seriously, and yet the students all know that I am new to the school and therefore, a very easy target. And I am horrible at being a disciplinarian. So what do I expect? What can I do?
Today I had to pass out a letter home to parents explaining that I will be student teaching their children for the next three months. And I had to make an announcement to the students about making sure the letter gets to the kids. And I got super nervous! To make a ten second announcement about a measly parent letter. And who is responsible for teaching the next unit starting on Monday, February 7?
Me.
Gosh, what is it about me and getting nervous? I am my own worst critic. I'm so sure of myself right up until the very day I start and then I begin to doubt. I tell myself that I don't have what it takes. I get nervous. I cry. I feel alone and down. But I know that I can do this! I have enough knowledge under my belt to know what I have to say about the Great Depression.... The New Deal.... World War II.... and so on. But I still have to learn how to manage a classroom. And grade papers. And take attendance. And help students who miss class.
I'm underestimating myself.
I just want the knot in my stomach to go away, and the feeling of anxiety to slowly turn to reassurance and calm. No doubt, no self-pity, no fear. Just facing a new situation head on like I know I can. It's three months. That's so little time! Three months of teaching that will help me to determine if this is really what I want to do with the rest of my life.
So I'm just leaning on God, leaning on myself, and trusting that I can do this. Because I know that I can. Getting to that point where I believe it? That might just take awhile.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
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