The Seasons of Life

Kind of ironic to give my post today a title on season since my last blog post is all based on AUTUMN! As to that adorable sweater in the first pic of my last post, I wish I could tell you where to buy it, or where I found it. Sadly, it was on Pinterest. I wish there was a phone app where you could take a picture of an outfit like that, and find out where to buy said outfit. Like the app Shazamm, which Dusty has on his phone. Yesterday we went to the State Fair in MN and sat at the booth of our favorite radio station, The Current. We were listening to a sweet song but didn't know the name, so Dusty just held his phone up to the speakers and his phone told us what it was! There should be a clothing app like that. Like if I saw a girl walking at the mall wearing amazing shoes, I could take a pic with my phone and have it figure out... "Macy's, Sperry Topsiders, $59.99. Click here to buy." That would be brilliant!!

Sorry for going off on that tangent. Oops :)

Well, going back to the title of my blog post. I'm feeling that feeling again today. I don't really know why. It's the feeling when you wake up and see the dark cloud looming over your head. It's not having a full time job. It's feeling guilty/lazy/useless for just having another day to get out of bed, and count down the hours until I have friends to hang out with, or people to see. It's not fun. I don't like this feeling. And I don't like that cloud, either.

It's been a recurring theme pretty much since graduation-- Total uncertainty, feeling lost. I don't know what to do or where to start in moving forward. I've applied to several jobs, heard back from a couple, interviewed... And then I don't get hired. It pretty much sucks. It's also to be expected. What do I do now?

I guess I have trouble in understanding that this is a season of my life. I just went through a 4 year season of college. Before that a 4 year season of high school. That means that I am only 22. I literally have a lifetime ahead of me. A lifetime that I know will include employment (plus benefits, haha), a family, more hardships, more happy times than I can even imagine. I have a future ahead of me. A bright one, I like to think. I have days like this all the time... days where I feel like there's no hope and the world is crashing down on me... and then I also have days when I feel like life could not be better, life is great, and I have no worries or cares in the world. Like yesterday, at the Fair. Dusty and I had a great time together. We spent nine hours walking around looking at EVERYTHING! It was great!! And then I woke up today, and felt like this. Proof that I am a normal human being :)

One of my friends recently wrote on his own blog that writing and posting on here has been one of the most rewarding things he has done this summer. I kind of agree when it comes to this blog. Writing here (regardless of whether or not people are reading) is extremely rewarding, reflective, and personal to me. I am more than happy to share my life with other people who I know care for me and will hold me up in prayer during these hard times. So I am thankful, above all else. Thankful for hard times, for seasons of life, and thankful for you readers who take the time to listen/read, and share with me in the journey.

And on that note, I hope everyone has a great day :)

Autumn

Today is August 29th... September is just around the corner. While I seem to find myself believing that summer is never going to end (okay, I want to believe it will never end) I am maybe just the tiniest bit excited for FALL for these reasons....

And also for this...

Oh summer... You've been good to me this year, but there is just something about fall that makes me happy in so many ways.

Go Tom!

Dusty's best friend Tom moved to LA this past January and has already blown us away by his talent. We both had the privilege of  watching Tom act last summer in a local play and seriously... it's kinda nuts how much things have changed for him in just one year. He is seriously talented. I think Dust could possibly be a little jealous ;-)

Callie, Tom, Dust and myself last year

So tonight, Dusty and I were watching Jersey Shore on MTV (don't judge, there was literally NOTHING else on). We were just sitting there not really paying attention during a commercial break when all of a sudden Dust freaked out and screamed "TOM IS IN THIS COMMERCIAL!!!!!!" I looked on the TV and sure enough... they were airing a recent Foot Locker commercial and Tom makes an appearance right at the end in the referee uniform!!! What!!! We freaked out. That is so amazing... I'm so proud! It's been awesome to see him go far just in the past few months!! And I can't wait to see what lies ahead for him... Check out his website linked above to see more of his stuff, I highly recommend it!!

Oh and of course, here is the commercial:

Stop this train.

So scared of getting older, I'm only good at being young...

This song was sung in church on Sunday and I had never heard it before. I've been replaying it in my head pretty much since.

I've had a really tough week. I interviewed for a teaching position, but I didn't get the job. I have felt so up in the air about everything in the two days since. I saw two good friends of mine get married, and freaked out about being in that stage of life. I went to my brother's football game tonight and felt like I had literally skipped from age 16 to 22 in an instant. How can it be that my brother is in high school, and I am OUT of college... unemployed and not getting any younger?

It freaks me out... time is slipping away and I seriously wish I could just stop the train for one second. Just be young. Enjoy being in my 20's rather than feel like I have to get my act together and lock down my life with a full time job.

This is just one of those bare-all, emotional breakthrough posts. Don't mind me :) I feel like I deserve to be a little bummed out, after all, I did admit to smearing Crisco on my face in the last post. 

Beau and Tommy (his best friend) - 2010 with Dusty in Florida

Beau and Tommy - 2011 - How did they get so old all of a sudden???

 

 

 

 

 

 

One of these things just doesn't belong.

So, this is my bathroom cupboard. It's cluttered, full of products... and I'll admit to using about seven of them on a regular basis.

And no, your eyes aren't deceiving you. There is a tub of Crisco on the upper shelf.

An explanation is in order of course, but not without a bit of a back story. I blogged last weekend about how I couldn't wait to see the movie THE HELP. Well, I saw it. And I loved it! And I'm also waiting to blog about it soon so I can explain just how much I really did enjoy the movie. Anyway, there is a scene in the movie where Minnie (one of the main characters) is teaching Miss Celia (the woman Minnie works for) how to make fried chicken. When she puts a slab of Crisco on the frying pan.. she explains how Crisco is the miracle household item. Not only is it a staple ingredient in cooking... but it can fix a squeaky door hinge... Take a makeup stain out of clothing, AND soften your husband's scaly feet!

And that got me to thinking.

It reminded me of January 2010 when my friend Chelsea and I were in the city of Paris (You are probably thinking, where the HECK are you going with this... You just uploaded a picture of CRISCO in your makeup cabinet). There was a night on our Europe trip that we were just plain TIRED of walking and decided to have a little bit of a beauty pick-me-up by slathering our feet with Vaseline, putting socks on over our feet, and going to bed. We both woke up the next day with unbelievably smooth feet, completely moisturized. So it made me curious about what Minnie said in the movie about the feet. So I googled "alternative uses for Crisco" and found out that not only does it in fact smooth the skin on your feet.... but it apparently works on other parts of the body, too. I read countless reviews of women who used Crisco as an alternative to EXPENSIVE FACIAL MOISTURIZER. I couldn't believe it. Who would apply shortening to their face?????

But my curiosity continued to get the best of me. I then googled whether or not doctors recommend Crisco for bodily use. Just typing those words doesn't seem right. But sure enough... It is doctor recommended! This is what Dr. Bark says (no idea what kind of doctor, just found him on a dermatologist website...)

"If you want the cheapest home remedy going, use Crisco," says Dr. Bark. "It's a wonderful moisturizer that covers the skin and keeps water locked in. The key is to use very little and rub it in well so your hands don't feel greasy. Your skin needs only two molecules' worth of barrier thickness to protect it from water loss. They used to call Crisco Cream C at Duke University, where doctors dispensed it freely. It really works."

This is where I started to wonder. Could it really work?

So last night, I experimented similarly to what Chelsea and I did to Europe... and applied Crisco shortening to my feet.

And I woke up this morning- they were amazingly smooth!!
That was the experimental part... now today, I took it a step further.


Friends, I applied it to my face as a moisturizer. There, I said it.


I had to give it a shot. Part of the reason I trust what the websites say is because of the active ingredients found in Crisco. This product is 15% Vitamin E, a resource that is VERY good for skin! It contains several other ingredients that I found in every facial care product that I use. I went out on a limb, and I tried it. And now, I'm awaiting results. Oh and I also feel I should mention, I used about a small dab on my pinky finger for my face. That was all it took. Just about a pea sized amount.

I wrote earlier this month about the woes of terrible skin. I am literally desperate to try something that just might work, and is an EXTREMELY cheap alternative to the over-priced, high end stuff. So I resorted to something that I had to dig through my kitchen cupboards to find.

Judge me... or see for yourself. Just google what I did. You will be amazed at what you find out.

Oh and don't worry, I will continue to post updates on how the Crisco is treating me.

Thanks to PINTEREST, I found this picture...

I was recently browsing Pinterest when I stumbled upon this photograph...

This is pretty much the best thing ever, isn't it? I think I need to make my own and hang them everywhere I can see them. This was exactly what I needed today for a variety of reasons. THANK YOU GOD!

Speaking of God... this week has been huge for me, as I recently made the decision to get baptized. I'm so excited. I am meeting with my pastor in a couple of weeks and the baptism day is Sunday August 28th. Big things happening for me in the way of my faith life!!

I had a really great day today. Excited to blog about it soon! HAPPY FRIDAY!

Lately

Tonight, Dust took me on a late evening boat ride.

We had some awesome conversation. Caught each other up to speed on what lies ahead for both of us in our lives. Saw an enormous shark-like fish jump out of the water* and also watched a duck skid across the water about 25 feet. It was fantastic. 

*I mention the shark-like fish because Dusty's neighbor has a girlfriend who doesn't swim on the lake because she truly believes that the Loch Ness Monster resides in it. No joke. I think it's pretty funny. She also discourages her boyfriend from entering the lake, as well.

The moon is out on Long Lake

It was great just to be able to sit and talk and not have the distractions of TV, cell phones (I steal Dust's phone to play Angry Birds every chance I get) and just BE. 

We had a great past couple of days with our good friends, Steph and Danny. Being with those two is always a guaranteed good time. And good times, we had. We ventured out to Psycho Suzi's in Minneapolis and then headed back to Dusty's house in Mahtomedi, but weren't ready to give up the potential our night had to offer. Long story short, we ended up at Frigaards bar in Willernie which was just an experience and a half. I am hoping that Danny decides to blog about the whole thing because something tells me he will be able to put a more hilarious spin on the night's activities, more so than I could. 

On a bit of a different note, I've stumbled upon some pretty awesome music, lately. Here are just a couple of my current favorite songs. I've been reminiscing on music that I was once obsessed with in high school and have gotten reconnected with some good old tunes that really bring me back. Enjoy!

Hackensack - Fountains of Wayne (an old one from back in the day)

He Can Only Hold Her - Amy Winehouse.

Can I just say... I am so bummed about her tragic/recent death. She was so so talented.

Helena Beat - Foster the People. I am slowly becoming more and more obsessed with this band. What's even better, is they offered this single on Itunes recently for FREE! I confess... I drove to work this morning just blasting this song and unashamed, tapped the beat on my steering wheel. I was just loving life. It was great. Oh, and can you get over the strangeness of the Youtube video I found? Yea, neither can I.

Coming up soon... My thoughts on the new movie, THE HELP, based on the book which I read earlier this summer and also blogged about. Dig in the archives if you are interested on my opinions regarding the book, I'm too lazy to find the link and embed it. Happy Thursday!

This post is not a happy one.

Sometimes, I feel like a real lousy person.

Especially today. Over the past weekend, I had a pretty lame "woe is me" pity party over the fact that in two weeks, I will no longer have part time work nannying. Which means that I also have to start REALLY searching hard for a job this fall and beyond. I was feeling pretty sorry for myself, being mopey, shedding a lot of tears, and wondering when the world was going to crumble around me into a million little pieces.

The Casey Miller pity party continued on into the wee hours of the morning today as I grew increasingly depressed over reading articles regarding the debt crisis in America, the rising unemployment rate, and the student loan payment notice that my mom handed me all before breakfast. Needless to say, I grew increasingly sorry for myself rounding about 8:30 a.m. I had even been planning to write a blog post explaining my fears of the unknown, fears of not having a full time job, fears of being sad and depressed over this "crisis" I am facing in my life.

And then, I read this article.

When I wake up in the morning, do I face a day of not knowing how, where, or when I am going to get fed, not just for myself, but for my family? My friends?

The answer is no.

When I wake up in the morning, do I find myself in a desolate, disease ridden refugee camp? A place that is not my home and shows no signs of immediate hope?

The answer is no.

While I might be temporarily unemployed, I can't even comprehend what it would be like to live in the Horn of Africa in these times. Facing starvation, uncertainty, government instability, and possible death is something that I literally can not fathom. My heart breaks when I read things like this... and yet, I suffer from being a person who lets emotions and selfishness get the best of her. I am thankful for the reality check I got this morning. Things could be a lot worse.

My prayers are with the people of Somalia... a country in crisis where more than 10 million people are in need of assistance and face starvation.

Wednesday = What I've been up to

Life is good. Enjoying my last week of freedom before working through out the remainder of August, and then, the job search continues.

Dust and I have enjoyed having Char (his mom) in town this week from AZ as she has been helping Miss Callie with the wedding plans. Callie bought a beautiful dress, and also asked me to be a personal attendant in her wedding! I'm so excited and so honored. I can't WAYT to wait on her hand and foot on the big day! (If you're confused on the spelling... Wayt is going to be Callie's new last name!)

In other news, Dust and I have been trying to plan a trip out to California to see friends Danny and Steph, plus Dustin's best friend Tom. They all live out there. That's the sucky part about finishing college... your best buds all scatter through out the world and there are rare opportunities to see one another. But anyway, that's a plan. Sort of like a rough draft of a plan.

'Cuz we're the 4 best friends that anyone could have...

I hope that Danny isn't caught off guard by potentially reading this post, but then again, no one really ever reads my blog so it's a safe bet to guess he won't.

So Monday consisted of this:

 

Which eventually led to this...

That's right, folks. I am dating a hairless man. I personally prefer the buzz to any other look that Dusty has gone for in the way of hair. While I am going to miss running my fingers through those long locks, it sure is fun to be dating a guy who looks like he could be a convict on the loose! (Kidding) I really do like the new look though. Could he really ever NOT be handsome??

Monday also consisted of Baldy and I going to the movies to see Harry Potter again. Turns out, when we attended the midnight premiere, I didn't last too long. I actually slept through about an hour of the movie. Maybe it was the fact that it was two hours plus and I had been up that day for a total of 23 hours. Maybe it was because we went to Oakdale which happened to be a mini reunion with about 30 of my former students (anxiety) or maybe it was just not that interesting to me the first time around. Well, forget that! I LOVED IT the second time! I felt depressed upon the ending because I truly feel like my childhood, my youth, is officially finished. I remember the 6th grade year like it was yesterday when the first HP movie came out... sigh. Life passes ya by.

And of course, this is what my Monday night consisted of...

*True*Love* ... Well, at least for now

Let me tell you why I'm glad Ashley picked JP:
1. Did you see Dusty's hair up there?? Or lack there of? Don't you think it makes him slightly resemble JP and his handsomeness?
2. Ben F. creeped me out with his "doggy voice"... while Ashley's was just plain ANNOYING.
3. It assured me that I can, in fact, put my full trust in Reality Steve, at least for this season
4. We can now rest assured knowing we will NEVER have to hear the "B-word" again

If you aren't a fan of The Bachelorette, I apologize, but I became highly invested in this season. As much as I think this show is a joke, I can't help but get sucked in when I discover websites that give you all the spoilers before the season starts. It makes for seriously entertaining Monday nights when you have a recap to look forward to.

Today, Dust took me out on a date to New Hope Cinema Grill, which offers cheap movies (most that have been in theaters for months) while also offering a full menu of food that is available for order through out the movie of your choice. Dusty has been dying to try it out for a long time and I finally agreed today. We actually had a good time. Movie= $2, pizza, pop and popcorn= $2 each. Fairly cheap deal for the night. We saw "The Hangover 2" which was the only downfall of the night's events. Not a movie I would recommend. The first one= extremely funny. The second= exactly the same, only not as funny, super gross, and a disappointment. Oh well.

I cannot believe that it's August already. What a crazy month July was. I'm glad its over but also freaking out that my beloved summer months are rapidly coming to a close. Dust and I had a great conversation tonight about jobs/careers, and the future. It was nice to be able to talk out the kinks of what our lives will be like in the coming months. I still have no idea what I'm going to do, but I will talk about that+details in a future blog post. For now, I'm looking forward to August for a couple of reasons... One, my sister gets home in 7 days! She spent the summer in Denver and South Dakota working for Youthworks and while I know she has had an amazing time, I am so anxious for her to get back. Two, my most anticipated summer movie, THE HELP is coming out on the 10th! Remember, I recommended the book earlier in June in a previous post? I can't hardly wait. This is one of the few books that has potential for an excellent movie counterpart. I really hope that it doesn't disappoint!

Not to end this on a sadder note, but today is also the 3rd which marks one official month since Sean passed away. I can't believe how quickly a month can just fly by. Even still, I still can't hardly believe that he's still gone. I carry around the little card from his memorial in my wallet and get to see his picture whenever I open it for cash or whatever. I think about him often and still shuffle through the countless memories that we shared over the years. Still miss him.

 

This coming Saturday, some friends of mine are hosting a fundraiser that includes authentic homemade TACOS to raise money for Sean's Memorial Fund. I guess that spreading the word via my blog is a little bit pointless, since like I said earlier, nobody reads, but I'm sure that everyone would love for all who are able to show up and it's for a really meaningful cause, at least to me. You can read more about the fundraiser on this Facebook page!

So in a nutshell, that's what I've been up to the past few days. WHEW. What a post. Great way to start out my Wednesday, though. Hope everyone else is enjoying their week!