Things Change.

There are times when I wonder if what I choose to write on here has any value, or is even worth writing. Every morning when I catch up on my favorite blogs (which these days happens to be at 9 a.m. during my prep hour) I find myself being somewhat envious of the lives I'm invited to read into. I confess, I LOVE scouring blogs for delicious recipes, fashion tips, and funny stories, but I also love blogs because it gives me a glimpse into the lives of people I find to be glamorous and fab, or lucky and happy, or just always seeming to have all the ducks in a row. Know what I mean? I feel like when I sit down to write about my own life, it just doesn't really match up to the other stuff that's out there. Throw in my Bachelor Recap blogs (the ULTIMATE guilty pleasure) and I just don't stand a chance.

But then there are times when I choose to read back on the posts I've written over the last year and a half, and I realize that if anything, this blog is good for myself. I often will dig back into the archives and read up on a time when I truly thought life couldn't get worse, and I thank God for proving that it does, in fact, get WAY way better. I think about those months when Dusty lived far away, and I thought it would never end. I think about the months I spent student teaching- how nervous I was, how insecure I felt... and I look at my life now and think about all the experiences I've gained in education, BECAUSE of my student teaching, and I am so grateful for the tough experience. I read about my journey since graduating from college- I can't believe it's been almost an entire year since I graduated from Bethel. I think about the days where you can just TELL in my writing that I was restless and dying to get engaged. I truly NEVER thought that Dusty would go above and beyond everything I could have ever imagined by proposing to me in September.

My life may not be all peaches and cream all the time, in fact, this past year has been really a hard one in many ways. Transitioning out of the college lifestyle and into the "real world" was (and still is) a very tough adjustment. I tragically lost one of my closest friends from high school last July and I still think about him, and how he left this earth, all the time. Hard stuff has happened. I got turned down from a teaching job that I truly thought I had in the bag. I felt like I missed out on my dream job. Dusty (and I) lost an aunt, an amazingly special lady, to cancer the day after Christmas. I pay what seems like a whopping amount of money on my student loans every month and it's depressing. Welcome to life. Life is not picture perfect, but it does follow the motions of what life is SUPPOSED to be like. And through it all, good, bad, ups, downs, sideways, and sometimes topsy turvey, what I've learned most, is that God has been behind every single step of the journey. I can't get over it. I love looking back and seeing how the Lord has provided for me in every single step I take.

So what's my reason for all this random epiphany writing? Friday is a big day... it's the end of my time at the middle school I have been teaching at. These past six weeks have really flown by faster than I ever could have expected. I'm taking a new step in this journey of mine and am heading into a different direction next week with my job. I'm going to be nannying four days a week for an adorable little baby girl, and recently was hired BACK at EagleCrest (surprise!) as a part time receptionist. Is it ideal right now NOT to be working in education? Not really. I'm nervous, scared, and a little worried at taking this new step for the time being. But I've realized SO much over the last few weeks, that God is behind this time in my life. I'm not in control, but the Lord is guiding my steps.

I am so confident that God has an incredible plan for me in the way of a career. I'm not quite sure myself yet what exactly it is that I'm meant to do, but I know that an opportunity will be provided for me. I'm not doubting God in that for one second. Am I anxious, waiting for that plan to be revealed? Absolutely. Do I like change? Absolutely NOT! But I have felt an enormous amount of peace in the fact that GOD will take me through this!

So my life- to others, who read this, it might not be so exciting. I'm not a fashion guru, I don't know the last great recipe I created myself worthy of posting on a blog. I never follow through on DIY crafts and I'm not always the best at keeping up with writing. But I am content with where I'm at right now in life, I'm so incredibly grateful and happy with the Lord for remaining so faithful, all the time, and I'm ready to take the next step into the direction where God is currently leading me. I'm excited to one day look back on this post, and read it with a smile because a new opportunity has already come my way. Who knows where I will be- But I know what will NOT change by the time I get to that point. God will have brought me there.

Want to know what motivated me to write this post? Go read 2 Corinthians 12:9. Soak it in. When you are done with that, read Ephesians 5: 15-17. Thank you God. You sure are smart.