Hmmm.

Well, I had another rough night last night. For some reason, I couldn't manage to fall asleep until 4 am this time, and it's messing with my brain. I'm tired! I called my mom in the wee hours of the morning because basically I just couldn't take it anymore and she listened to me vent, cry, make absolutely no sense because I was lacking sleep and so frustrated. I also called Dusty and he was nice enough to provide the same comfort that my mom did. Ah. I woke up for work today and had the biggest, puffiest dark circles under my eyes and just thought, EW.

Anyway, since my mom was obviously a bit concerned about my state of mind this morning, she texted me just to check in. When I was taking my break for lunch at work, she sent me this:

"Here's a question for you to ponder (originates from Dottie).... "Is God enough?" I've been mulling over it all week...."

Is God enough?

Dottie, for those who are not from Bethel, is a newly retired phy ed professor who has been a friend to my mom and grandma for a few years now. Her and my mom recently had a conversation surrounding this question. Dottie lost her husband a few years ago, her son just last year moved far away after living close to her home for a long time, and she is adjusting to the transition of being retired. She basically was telling my mom about how adjusting to changes in life is never easy. But when you are stuck in those times, because they are seriously unavoidable, is God enough for you? Is God simply enough?

When I think about this question in my own mind, I go a lot of different directions. The first thing that popped into my head was a passage in Romans:
What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?

I am sure many of you could resonate with me in what I've been transitioning with. I know that life could be a lot worse, but it has been harder than I expected to say goodbye to Dust, start senior year, and enjoy life before I graduate and enter the real world. I have been unsure as to what I want to do with my life. There are a million questions/ideas/thoughts towards the future and I hate not knowing, and I often use outlets other than God to help aid the decision making. In my own selfish world, God is often not enough. I often make it God+Dusty/God+friends/God+Me/God+Mom&Dad/God+Bethel or the worst....Just Me, no God. It's not that relying on other outlets is bad, but it isn't going to fill me the way that God always always does.

The end of the passage says it all:
As it is written:
For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered. No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I think THAT pretty much makes it clear: God is enough.
My mom told me that sometimes transitioning to changes can cause stress that often times could disrupt sleep patterns. I am adjusting to life without someone that I spent a LOT of time with, and it's hard, while also trying to balance other things. So I have had this trouble sleeping. If (whoever you are) you could just pray for me, for sleep, and for peace! That would be greatly appreciated. After my mom and I talked about this question that Dottie brought up, I remembered that I ran into Dottie the other day at school! And she, as always, brightened up my day. She smiled and told me to enjoy every minute of my last year of college. It's funny how moments in life connect to others.

Theme for the week: God is enough. I will write it as the banner on my cell phone, so that I won't forget it, either.