FRIDAY

Now that everyone who reads this site faithfully knows exactly what I've been up to the last few months, I feel like I can be candid. The past four, five-ish weeks at work have been REALLY good. I feel like making it up to the MEA weekend in Minnesota was like crossing a sort of finish line- I had essentially survived my first quarter of teaching, I was getting into a groove of dividing up my time (lesson planning, teaching, plus trying to squeeze in having a life) and I started to feel like my rapport with the students was improving. It felt like they were starting to trust and respect me. Pair that with a couple of other milestones here and there (like re-taking my license exam for the fourth time, having two days off in two weeks, and BUYING  A NEW CAR) and I started to really feel like MAN- I'm kinda on top of the world. In fact, you might say that I was starting to develop a little bit of swagger- I use that word only for the simple fact that I hear it MULTIPLE times a day working in an alternative school setting.

Well, that being said, I guess in this roller coaster journey I've been riding since starting my new job, it all had to come crashing down. I was on this uphill battle for the months of August to September... reached October and threw my hands up in the air for the fun rush of reaching the top... and this week, I definitely am feeling myself round the corner and climb up the rickety hill again. It all started Monday when Dusty and I drove to Farmington to pick up said new car mentioned earlier, only to be told we couldn't take it home until Tuesday. Oh-kay... there goes a nice 35 mile drive out of the way, down the tubes. Disappointment #1.

Tuesday rolled around and it was actually a really great day. I was asked a couple months ago to chaperone a field trip for our junior and senior students to Mankato on a visit to the university. It went great and I thoroughly enjoyed visiting the campus and seeing my student's eyes light up learning about the possibility of attending college. However... we had a mishap on the bus on the way back, I didn't get home until 445 (unheard of for me most weeknights) and then we had to drive BACK to Farmington to pick up our new car. It was a stressful, long day. Driving to Mankato, back to the cities, BACK DOWN to Farmington made me crabby and tired.

Make a long story short- I dealt with students getting kicked out of school, loads of grading, a LOT of subbing for teachers who were out sick, plus lesson planning for the next few days up to Thanksgiving, I was beginning to feel stretched pretty thin. On top of that I don't know how, but my husband convinced me last night to go see the new Twilight movie at 10 pm.... Who else is in a marriage where the MAN of the relationship is the one convincing his wife to go see the latest installment of a popular teen rom-com vampire saga? Anyone?

Bueller? Bueller?

I definitely let myself get ahead of things by feeling on top of the world and thinking all was right in my universe. I was quickly brought back down to reality through a variety of events this week. I started to analyze myself and realized that sometimes, if I'm not doing anything and just sitting around, I feel antsy and kind of lazy. I feel much more succesful and overall accomplished when I'm constantly busy and doing something at all times. Whether its being with friends, planning my lessons, catching up on blogs, or cleaning the apartment, I realized today that I don't really let myself just BE.

That's why tonight, as I sit curled up with a blanket next to my parent's amazing electric fireplace, with my dog at my side snoring quietly, I am thanking God and myself for taking a time out from the busyness of life and letting myself enjoy my Friday night. I so needed this. Want to know what else I did?

That's right; I cooked myself dinner. I went to Target, I bought all the ingredients I needed, and I made Pumpkin Turkey Chili with homemade cornbread. It wouldn't be a typical night for me if I didn't occupy my time some more by shopping at Target, of course, but I literally chopped the veggies, sauteed the ingredients, and made chili for the first time in my life, all by myself. It was so wonderfully satisfying to be able to do something like that. And I highly recommend the recipe if you love autumn and love pumpkin (I found it on AllRecipes. Delicious). I am having an unexpectdly quiet night housesitting and dogsitting for my rents, who are in Chicago, and without my husband (sick at home) who I miss. But I am enjoying the time alone. It's kind of nice to just BE.

It was when I finally sat down to eat my homemade meal, prepared all by myself, that I realized I need to do things like this more often. Do things for ME when I find I have the time. I realized tonight that tonight might have been the first night I have cooked ANYTHING since I have been MARRIED! Um... what?! Five months without allowing myself to cook a meal?! Seriously!

 

I am loving a break from the busyness tonight and I had to share with others- maybe you need a break like me too. And if not? Maybe you need to just try cooking this chili, because it's amazing. And if you have any leftover turkey, give it to your dog. But I promise, he won't look this cute after licking the bowl clean, like mine did.



A creative way of updating the Blogosphere

Since reader's have waited for a post on the edge of their seat...

I am updating my blog as a very special treat.

But since I have been absent 

(You may have thought I wouldn't come back!)

I have decided to get creative- this is a poem!

Cut me some slack.

It was a pleasant day in August when I was shopping at the mall, 

When to my surprise I had an unknown phone call

This call was from a school, with a job to which I had applied

I expected not to hear a word... but could at least have said I tried

But to my surprise my stomach dropped when they asked me to come in

They would like to interview, I said yes with a nervous grin

And in a chain of insane events I found myself employed

And starting school in just three days- my confidence was destroyed

For not only was I stepping in to a situation unknown- but I had to quit my other two jobs

Where I really felt at home

Nonetheless I prayed it through and started school with a bang

Four classes and forty students a day- might not sound that insane

But I am teaching in a place that isn't quite the norm

It's an alternative setting where kids have faced the storm

Of struggling through traditional school and falling through the cracks

But I was on a mission to let them know- Ms. Wahl has got your back

In the meantime fall came in full force to give me a fresh breath

There are days when just the crisp fall breeze helps when I feel like there's nothing left

This job has presented challenges that make me want to scream

But then I have those moments- breakthroughs- where the students make me beam

Like the day a student told me that he learned when teachers smile

Or when I was absent due to sickness "Ms. Wahl I missed you- Ain't seen you in awhile!"

Or when I have a moment that I question what I do

And I grade a test that shows me that with the students, I'm getting through

Updates on my family life? Dust and I are doing great 

He has put up with quite a bit since I started as of late

He still is loving his job at school- 

And is thinking about going back to school (can only get so creative)

The coolest thing about this job is seeing the work of The Lord

I find myself always content and NEVER feeling bored

God knew that this was where I had to be this year

He told me to put all trust in HIM- Although I still have fear

The Lord knew that it would work great when Dusty sold his car

To place me at a job that really wasn't far

We are down to just one car but spend every day

Chatting on the way to work- amazing, what more can I say?

So now I am a teacher I thought I'd never see the day

They tell you jobs are out there but to that I say no way

I'm so content, insanely busy, every day is new

But I wouldn't trade anything for what I get to do

I promise to update more but had to update first

I hope you have enjoyed this blogpost written in Verse.

The end. I got a job, that's why I haven't written. Even though most people who read this already knew that. XO

Musical Recommendations

Dust and I are currently sitting in our living room watching the movie WILD AMERICA. If you are having trouble remembering this gem of the 90's, I'm talking about this movie:

 

We both just agreed that Dust wanted to BE Jonathan Taylor Thomas, and I wanted to DATE him. I can't even tell you how many times I made my dad drag me to the Video Update down the street just so I could rent this movie and purposely creep myself out by the woman near the bear cave who had scars on her cheek from a bear mauling!

Ring a bell, anyone??

Anyway, since I have seen this movie too many times to count and I also got the sudden urge tonight to crack open my laptop, I decided to burn a CD. One of the best apps I've downloaded on my phone is HANDS DOWN is the Shazam App. Nothing is more convenient than driving on my way to work and figuring out what song I'm listening to just by tapping a button on my phone. I happen to be a huge fan of The Current here in MN, so my songs of choice may not exactly please everybody, but I think this is one of the better mixes I've put together in a long time. If you are looking for good songs to listen to for a road trip, a day at the beach with iPod buds in your ears, or something to blast while you clean around the house, then maybe you might want to give these a shot. 

In no random order:

Give Up the Funk by Parliament

Lucky Man by The Verve (Perhaps you might recognize it from the movie "Marley and Me")

Stubborn Love by The Lumineers(I CAN'T SAY ENOUGH ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS GROUP!)

Busy Bees by Silversun Pickups

Next to Me by Emeli Sande (She's opening for Coldplay in MN this weekend and I am begging Dust to find us tickets...)

We Bought a Zoo by Jonsi (This is what I walked down the aisle to!)

D.A.N.C.E by Justice 

Hey Ladies by The Beastie Boys

Jump Into the Fog by The Wombats (This might be my new favorite song, for real)

You're a Wolf by Seawolf

Look at Where We Are by Hot Chip

Some Nights by Fun (even though it seems to pop up in every commercial on TV these days)

Nightcall by Kavinsky (from the movie "Drive")

Houdini by Foster the People (Granted this was kind of my anthem last summer, but who says you can't repeat?)

Man on Fire by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros (I would do anything to see them in concert)

Here are a couple preview videos of my favorites from the group: 

Emeli Sande

Justice

The Wombats

Hot Chip

Go listen to some music.

And for those of you that will get it and have read from the beginning, do so "with that good ol' Mountain Dew." 

Just read.

I get depressed pretty much any time I turn on the TV lately and watch the news. It seems like ever since the Aurora, CO movie theater disaster that every week, every day, headlines pop up of horrible things happening in different parts of the country, or in our world.

I actually drove home from work yesterday in the midst of rush hour (AKA my worst enemy) and noticed to my left a plane flying abnormally low in the sky. I live in St. Paul, which isn't far from the airport, but I thought to myself that plane looks TOO low, TOO far from the airport. I even went so far as to drive out of my way towards the Mississippi to see if I was just crazy, or if there was, in fact, a plane crash disaster. It was one of those moments where I thought to myself, am I completely insane? Why would a plane just crash into the river right by my apartment? Of course I was wrong about the whole thing... and yet I mulled it over in my brain thinking to myself, what would I do if I were ever really a witness to a random disaster? How would I react? What would go through my mind?

Well anyway. Dusty and I decided to get some errands done last night at around 7 p.m. and headed out to Ikea in Bloomington. We were in desparate need of a dresser, nightstand, and bookshelf and promised ourselves that we'd be in and out of there in an hour tops. That, of course, didn't happen because we ended up testing out every sofa in the showroom and then ran into some people we knew in the warehouse. After packing up my tiny car with heavy cardboard boxes, not only were we tired, but also hungry. So, with the Mall of America being conveniently across the street from Ikea, we decided to grab some food.

Dust always parks in the same ramp at MOA because he swears it's never that busy, and I wasn't driving nor did I care, I was just itching to eat something. This was at around 8:15 p.m. now and way past my normal dinner hour. That was when we noticed heading up the ramp that there were several cars parked in the middle of the street with their hazards flashing. A Uhaul van was up ahead about 20 meters or so and something just didn't look right. We were clueless as to what was going on until a girl frantically ran up to our car and asked us for rope or anything that might help to get the Uhaul driver out of the cab of the truck. The driver had misjudged the clearance of the parking ramp ceiling, causing a concrete beam to crash onto the cab of the Uhaul. The driver was PINNED INSIDE the cab in his seat. And he was still alive.

I literally froze while Dust quickly opened our trunk. We had a rope and some bungees and he ran toward the scene to hand them off. A security guard on a bike told him to stay away until he noticed the rope. I then noticed a woman screaming on the sidewalk, hysterical, and she slumped to the ground as Dusty and I tried to figure out where to go from here. He told me that someone mentioned the driver was talking and coherent but after we saw the damage to the cab of the Uhaul truck, we both were sick- there are slim chances for someone to survive a crash like the one we saw. I took a couple pictures on my phone while Dust was handing off the rope.


You can see where the beam hits the drivers side, it is to the right of Dusty who was walking back to our car. At this point there were no police or emergency cars at the site of the accident and the beam had fallen on the truck about five minutes beforehand.

 There wasn't much more we could do beyond just leaving the site of the accident, since by that point, we could hear sirens very closely nearing the mall- not to mention mall security was being pretty adament about not allowing anyone to get near the truck. We parked our car and went inside the mall. We didn't know what else to do. Dusty and I basically just rehashed everything that had just happened- did we really just drive right into the scene of an INSANE accident? Would the driver be okay? Why did the beam fall? Why did this happen at all?
I then started to contemplate the timing of events leading us to that disastrous scene: running late to get out the door, not arriving at Ikea until 7ish, spending way more time there than we hoped, bumping into friends, and deciding at the last minute to go grab a bite to eat across the street. That timeline brought us to that exact moment where we happened upon a horrible accident that neither of us EVER would have expected (nor wanted) to encounter, simply by chance.

After about an hour of being at MOA, still pretty stunned, we decided to leave. It felt so weird to walk around this enormous place full of people who were clueless to what happened outside just minutes ago. The scene walking out to the parking lot was much different than driving in. There were probably 25 police cars, 5 firetrucks, police officers and news crews EVERYWHERE. The lot where we parked was sealed off by yellow police tape and by then, I was glued to my phone waiting for an update on the news from my mom. She called to let us know the driver, a 52 year old male, had died, was still trapped in the Uhaul, and the two passengers who were with him were taken to the hospital for minor injuries. I couldn't help but think immediately of the woman I saw earlier, screaming like I have never heard anyone scream before and then slumping to the ground. It gave me the absolute worst feeling in the world to know that that man had died and we had been right there just a couple hours prior while he was still living and still holding on to some kind of hope, I'm sure. I thought about my stupid car ride home earlier. Would I ever be witness to some disastrous event in my lifetime? By the time I crawled into bed last night, I wished that I had never decided to go eat at the Mall of America. My thoughts raced back to that poor man in the Uhaul who probably had no idea that his decision to park the van would end up costing his life. Nobody deserves to go out like that.

And maybe this post makes me sound epic and all the more depressing... but it made me think back to countless times in my life where I have tried to make sense of horrible things happening to people in this world. Why does it happen? Why does God LET it happen? Even the other night, Dusty and I were watching an episode of Friday Night Lights when one of the main characters converts to Christianity and ministers to prison inmates in a bible study- and the inmates torture her with that question- Why does God allow horrible things happen to normal, good people?

Here's the thing: the character on the show (Lyla Garrity, for those of you who are FNL fans like me) did not have an answer for the prison inmates, and at the moment, I don't have an answer, either. Not only that, but I know nothing about the man who died last night. I know nothing about his life, his family, his faith, or where he's from. I hate not having an explanation for something that just seems so bizarre and unfair.

So as I'm sitting here, contamplating this weird, senseless event, my mind wandered to something that my mother-in-law gave me at my last bridal shower. It's a bookmark from Dusty's dad, Wade's, funeral, which contains an encouraging note written by Wade on the back that literally took every thought I had regarding last night and gave me peace.  I could go so much more into how highly I think of Dusty's dad, and how sad I am that I never got the chance to meet him and know him... but trust me, that is a blog post for another time :) Anyway. Please read it, and if you are ever stuck in a situation like me where you can't quite wrap your head around tragedy, be comforted by these words (this is a eulogy Wade wrote for the funeral of a good friend).

As I walked alongside my friend during his illness, I was forced to ask myself two questions about God. Is He loving and a good God? And is He in control, is He powerful? If the answer is yes- and I believe they are, then it allows me to trust that what He is and does is based upon His love and power. Now I don't presume to be able to understand suffering and unjust death, like that of my friend. But there are some things that I do know to be true. God loves us. God cares for us. God grieves alongside us (as Jesus was God in flesh. I'm reminded of the time in Jesus' life when He was told a friend of His died, and He wept- God is telling us in that, that He weeps with us when He sees the pain of this broken world). God knows what it is like to face the death of a loved one, as He allowed His son, Jesus Christ, to die so that we might live eternally. God heals- my friend is now healed. He does have total and complete healing at this moment. Our prayers were answered, just not in this world.

I don't doubt that today, tomorrow, perhaps several times this week, I won't turn on the TV or read the newspaper and feel great sadness over another tragedy somewhere in this world. We do live in a broken world. However, I can try as best as I can to understand the power and love of God, and to understand that God does not abandon our feelings of pain and injustice. God does grive right alongside us. And yet in pain, suffering, death, whatever may be hurting you at any moment in your life, there is hope in the fact that God heals. Not only does he heal those that have died through the promise of eternal life, but with a faith in Christ, he heals those of us still here on Earth who are left behind in a broken world. God knows. God is with us.

I have struggled more times than I can count with my faith in the Lord. Who doesn't? However, I have also been faced with a variety of circumstances in my life that have pointed, always, at God being the master and creator of all things. The Lord is good, and he reveals that to me even in the midst of something so sad.

So I guess that's my two cents for the day, an explanation of what happened last night, and hopefully the last of depressing blog posts here as typically I enjoy writing much more about happy, random things. Sometimes it's helpful to face the hard stuff, though. Just to leave this on a lighter note, I did spend some time with my amazing husband last night after getting ready for bed watching Robot Chicken on the iPad. I know how big of a dork I am, but trust me, it was good to share a laugh after all that had happened. And it was Dusty's suggestion. Love him.